What if there is nothing wrong with your son? There's a lot being said in mainstream media that has everyone believing that there is. But so much of it is inaccurate, insensitive, impersonal and an extreme oversimplification. Once you understand your son better - what makes him uniquely male and how he thinks, acts, learns, grows, etc., you WILL see the true wonder of boys and begin to feel less afraid of who he might become. Stick with us and we'll help you to see that there really IS a way forward, but mainstream media is making it harder and more confusing by telling you that your son (1) has toxic masculinity, (2) is not biologically different than girls, and (3) is a predator, a problem and is born with male privilege. I assure you, if you make understanding your son better your priority, you will never regret it!
- "When we have clues about our sons’ unique experiences we are in a better position to know how to motivate them, to know what they want and how they want it, to speak their language, to know what is underneath some of their decisions that might seem bizarre, and of course, to be close to them. By knowing their nature we are in a better position to connect." ― Tom Golden, Helping Mothers Be Closer to Their Sons
Statistics, Research and Facts
Ways the CWBB Helps
What Can Parents Do?
- Educate yourself
- on the Boy Crisis and learn more and sign this petition in support of a White House Council for Boys and Men
- about boys' biology, brain, development, learning, growth, maturation, needs, and anything else you can find
- about the different (but critically important) value that moms and dads bring to children (and the value of rough-housing)
- about the impacts of trauma, attachment theory and styles and the Self-Determination Theory (SDT)
- If you keep hearing that the problem is toxic masculinity and that boys "need to learn to be more emotional" and then our problems will be solved, keep learning - your son needs you understand that it's so much more complicated than that and that he needs you to be his biggest advocate and to understand him better.
- Keep dad in his life - and if that's not possible, make sure he has male role models and mentors intentionally included in his life
- Watch for where you might parent along stereotypical lines:
- Expand your son's idea of what types of careers they might want to pursue - focus on things aligned with their temperament and interest and including caring fields, being a more involved dad and other less traditionally male roles.
- Some reports have shown that parents expect less from their boys - around the house, behaviorally and academically. Watch for this.
- When your boys are falling behind, try to understand the underlying issues - emotions, needs, challenges, learning differences - and support them.
- Refrain from devices under 5 years old and delay giving a smart phone for as long as possible
"The parent-child connection is the most powerful mental health intervention known to mankind." ― Bessel van der Kolk
Note: We choose resources based on the quality and our agreement of the content and in some cases the quality and our agreement of MOST but not all of the content. There will be times when we send you to a site where you may have preconceived notions about the affiliations / other viewpoints they espouse. Our goal is to share high quality information that is in the best interest of our boys - which means sometimes we have to bypass our political bias and judgments and keep an open mind. Our vision for CWBB is to create and deliver more content that reaches the hearts of all people in a multi-partisan or non-partisan way. As for the professionals and programs we list here: While we try to only include those we believe to be of the highest integrity and value - and most aligned with our mission and vision - their inclusion is not an endorsement or guarantee of results or changes. Please make sure that you take the time to vet these professionals and/or programs yourself before investing in them.
- Saving Our Sons: A New Path for Raising Healthy and Resilient Boys, Dr. Michael Gurian
- The Boy Crisis, Dr. Warren Farrell
- Hold Onto Your Kids, Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate MD
- The Wonder of Boys, Dr. Michael Gurian
- Masterminds and Wingmen, Rosalind Wiseman
- Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys, Michael Thompson
- Helping Mothers Be Closer to their Sons, Tom Golden, LCSW
- Mothering Our Boys, Maggie Dent
- Becoming the Parent You Want to Be (Strategies for the First Five Years), Laura Davis
- Parenting from the Inside Out: How a Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help You Raise Children Who Thrive, Dr. Dan Siegel
- Raising Kids to Thrive: Balancing Love With Expectations and Protection With Trust, Dr. Kenneth R. Ginsberg
- Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting, Laura Markham
- How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
- Siblings Without Rivalry, Adele Faber and Elain Mazlish
"Small boys become big men through the influence of big men who care about small boys." ― Unknown